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Movie Review: The Five-Year Engagement (2012)

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No groundbreaking ideas or themes are presented in The Five-Year Engagement, but that doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining. Spurts of slapstick, a dash of vulgar humor, generous helpings of uncomfortable awkwardness, and a pinch of melodrama seasons the film with a cross of genres and unexpected laughs. Although moments of sudden darkness cloud the generally light-hearted mood, the greatest achievement for writer/star Jason Segel and writer/director Nicholas Stoller is that the characters are never despicable and retain a likeability that typically shirks away from roles designed to have dramatic, dynamic ups and downs.

Tom Solomon (Jason Segel) and Violet Barnes (Emily Blunt) are madly in love. Despite a repeatedly botched proposal, they are destined to be wed. But what starts as a short engagement with immediate marriage planning eventually gets stretched into a couple of years. The lovers decide to move away from Tom’s successful sous-chef job in San Francisco so that Violet can pursue a psychology career at the University of Michigan. Head professor Winton Childs (Rhys Ifans) manages to extend Violet’s position there, spreading the engagement into a five-year stretch that weighs heavily on Tom’s contentment and Violet’s ability to handle his perceived lack of success in the new environment.

With most of Segel’s comedies, embarrassing situations and an inescapable level of coarseness replace genuine creative humor. This film is no exception, frequently using sexual jokes, carnal activities, venereal insinuations, and Segel’s own seemingly contractually obligated nudity to fuel the hilarity. The dialogue supports this brand of badinage, although fortunately it’s the underlying allusions to psychological analysis that stand out when the wit is weak. Commentary on the different ways men and women cope with problems is particularly intuitive. Also, one of Violet’s focuses in the psychology department is to conduct an experiment in which subjects fill out forms about their personal stresses. They are then observed either eating stale donuts, or waiting for fresh ones to arrive, after being falsely informed that such new refreshments would be provided. She determines that people with troubled pasts are more likely to snag an old donut than those without turmoil in their lives. Throughout the film, occasionally quite blatantly, the notion that Tom and Violet’s relationship correlates to the donut experiment arises. Indeed, many of the relationships depicted in the movie are representative of wanting something new or being content with something that is imperfect yet satisfying in the moment.

The conclusion wraps up all the dilemmas too neatly, utilizing contrived methods of repairing debacles and adding nonsensical solutions of pure fantasy. It’s still affable in production despite the strict adherence to the romantic comedy formula, never betraying the sense of general decency about the characters (even the love triangle is broken up without the antagonist resorting to anything unusually cruel). The supporting roles of Chris Pratt as moronic buddy Alex, Alison Brie as crybaby sister Suzie, Chris Parnell as a stay-at-home dad/devoted hunter, and Brian Posehn as a candidly foul-mouthed deli employee are largely more memorable than the leads (although Blunt is always watchable). A scene in which Blunt and Brie converse while imitating Cookie Monster and Elmo, respectively, is impressively silly and probably the most unforgettable skit. Suzie essentially sums up the familiar joviality of The Five-Year Engagement when pep-talking Violet into showing some enthusiasm: “This is your wedding! You only get a few of these.”

- The Massie Twins (GoneWithTheTwins.com)


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How Apple’s Agency Model for Publishers Fails to Merit Collusion Charges

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Earlier this month, the U.S. Department of Justice, a number of U.S. states, and authorities in several other countries announced that they were filing lawsuits against Apple and six book publishers, alleging anticompetitive behavior in shifting to an Apple-backed agency model in which publishers set retail pricing and retailers such as Apple receive a 30% commission on the sales price.

Rather than settling the case as several of the publishers have opted to do, Apple has stood firm in its stance that the move did not represent collusion and price fixing but instead served as a way to give publishers control over pricing and break up Amazon’s near-monopoly in the e-book market.

Former Wall Street Journal publisher and Press+ founder Gordon Crovitz published a column over the weekend outlining how Apple’s plan for a 30% commission on publishers’ sales is merely its standard business practice, not any sort of collusion to fix prices in the market.

‘I don’t think you understand. We can’t treat newspapers or magazines any differently than we treat FarmVille.”

With those words, senior Apple executive Eddy Cue stuck to his take-it-or-leave-it business model of a 30% revenue share payable for transactions through the iTunes service. Despite my arguments to Mr. Cue in Apple’s Cupertino, Calif., offices last year on behalf of news publishers seeking different terms, to him there was no difference between a newspaper and an online game.

It was a sobering reminder that traditional media brands have no preferred place in the new digital world. It also should be the defense’s Exhibit A in the Justice Department’s antitrust case against Apple and book publishers: The 30% revenue-share model is Apple’s standard practice, not, as alleged by the government, the product of a conspiracy.

Crovitz goes on to outline how the U.S. government’s case against Apple and the publishers is misguided, with the agency model having been validated in numerous other industries by federal courts. And with the model looking exactly like that used for apps and other iTunes Store content, it suggests that Apple is not trying to accomplish anything special to gain control of the e-book market.

In fact, Crovitz notes that the e-book market has become significantly healthier since Apple’s agency model was adopted by the major publishers.

Over the past couple of years, thanks to the agency model, the Kindle’s market share has fallen to 60% [from 90% previously] thanks to competition from iPads and Barnes & Noble Nooks, and there is more variation in consumer prices, typically ranging from $ 5.95 to $ 14.95.

Pricing flexibility for publishers is necessary to allow innovation. Why shouldn’t some e-books cost 99 cents and others that come with video and hardcover editions be $ 49.95? Why not give people the option to pay 10% more to access an e-book on all e-readers? Consumers should decide, not Amazon or the Antitrust Division.

With settlements already looking at unwinding the agency model to allow Amazon to once again begin controlling the e-book market by leveraging its consistent $ 9.99 pricing to drive competitors out of business, investors have become increasingly skittish about Barnes & Noble and other retailers trying to stake out their positions in the market. Consequently, there are real fears among authors, publishers, and retailers that the federal government’s efforts are working quickly to restore an Amazon monopoly capable of bringing down its competitors.


MacRumors: Mac News and Rumors – Front Page


Things Women are Most Attracted to

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Judging from the advertisements that line our email, all that women are attracted to are quick-fix facials, designer handbags for less or tarot card predictions. However inaccurate/accurate that might be, we also love walking in the rain, sunsets on a beach, chocolate fudge sundae for lunch, Roman Holiday, heritage structures, Pinterest, and hand-tossed pizzas. Then there is stock trading, Top Gear, politeness, Discovery Channel, a good read on a summer afternoon … you see, one of the best things about being a woman is not feeling the pressure of bowing to stereotypes, unlike men. If a woman’s fascination with vintage clothing is classy, so are her smooth skills at changing car tires. Right now though, let’s just look at the regular delights.
Women and Shopping
Woman Shopping With women, things are obviously far from obvious, and when one has to talk about what attracts them, it doesn’t veer very far from the S-word. Yes, even a slight mention of shopping can have the most tired woman reach out for her bag, and they’re out and about in a jiffy. Although there are a few women who go to great lengths to avoid it like the plague, most of them can happily run through a week of boss-bestowed insults or unceremonious breakups, only on the hope of a weekend shopping spree.

To those of you who question the forever-lasting novelty of shopping, here’s the scientific dope – femdome’s obsession with the S-word is actually a relic of the bygone era when the men used to be hunters and the women were foragers.

Chemically speaking, shopping releases the very wonderful dopamine in the female brain that gives them a real high, akin to, well, a real high.

Women and Shoes
Woman Shoes What is it with women and their crazy ambition to own a gazillion pairs of shoes?

It would really be too easy to blame this obsession on Cinderella, but then let’s just examine what we have here, shall we? So, you slide your foot in it, the smooth satin lining inside caressing your foot as you do so. It fits you like a second skin, elevates you, and lends you that alluring strut. What’s more, it beautifies you in about five seconds, and never makes you look fat. These instant mood elevators are individually crafted for every woman, and have the power to make or break any outfit, designer or not. They can be conversation starters, inspire fetishes, and are femininity boosters. And to top it all, they can be used as weapons to shoo away unwanted attention.

Has all the above satisfactorily answered your question?

Women and Makeup
Woman Makeup This one’s easy. Makeup is that one magical thing which quite literally holds the power to transform a woman; whether the transformation is for better or worse can be discussed on another day.

To the uninitiated, makeup can simply be overwhelming. If you have to work hard to wear makeup that makes you look glamorous, you work twice as hard to wear makeup that gives you a makeup-free look. While the advocates of the natural look can have the luxury of reading the paper every morning, the wand brandishing divas are furiously donning layers of paint in order to get bigger eyes/shapely noses/sculpted cheeks, and what have you. Be it men or women, the quest for looking good has been imbibed into the human psyche quite naturally.

And this is really the reason why women should never justify their need for anything that makes them look nice, be it insect venom facials or fish pedicures.

Women and Clothing
Woman Clothing Female vanity works in mysterious ways. Stereotypes force us to believe that the female mind feels that she can never have enough LBDs/skinny or boyfriend pants. On investigating further, one feels hard-pressed to know why the men never have to justify their obsession with cars or gadgets. But the mere mention of a woman who skips dinner for a month to buy that Hermès scarf she so desires, raises instant outrage.

Coming back to women’s clothing fixation, you could connect this with the pleasurable act of preening and the desire to look good. Blame it on self-gratification, or on the desire to be noticed, flattering attire is what does it for women. On the other hand, for every woman who’s clueless about statement skirts and structured jackets, there will be another who will have these in teal and jade, with separate accessories to match for each.

It really goes without saying that every woman is different, and to classify them all as clothes hoarding loonies would be asinine.

Women and Jewelry
Woman Jewels Ah! It would be a crime not to mention Marilyn Monroe’s declaration about women’s special friendship with diamonds right at the beginning, and the rest will be self-explanatory. Not trying to cut down on words here, but is there anything else which explains a woman’s fascination with sparklers more than this song from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes?

Going further, nothing screams status for a woman other than these stones. And this is the weapon they choose to elevate their status among other women; not the Gucci handbag, not the Vivienne Westwood dress, not the Jimmy Choos on her feet.

Showing off is a joy we are all familiar with, gender notwithstanding. Guys, think of it as “my Aston Martin One-77″ against “your Ferrari Enzo”, and you’ll get the picture.

Women and Men
Woman and Men Okay, let me just say it. What choice do women have? Women getting attracted to men is a major natural order, and let’s stop being nasty about the hunter clan and look at reasons other than natural.

Well, umm …, there must be a few reasons. I’m sure there ought to be some reasons. Oh, right, here they are – some women choose to blame a man’s attractiveness on those fluctuating hormones, while the more serious ones claim temporary insanity.

Alright, seriously, it’s so hard to pinpoint the qualities that women find striking in a man. It could range from pheromones to facial hair (eeew, I know, but it’s true), from kindness to vulnerability, from salaries to inheritance, from commitment desires to openness … it is impossible to generalize.

To summarize, it isn’t really a good idea to break down and dissect what is really a beautiful and natural process called ‘attraction’.

When we are asked to speak of what attracts us, we usually tend to fall headfirst into the generalization trap. For scores of women who would nod in agreement to every obsession mentioned here, there will be a whole other lot turning their noses away from it. As a woman or a man, it all comes down to realizing where our happiness lies, and pursuing it without any traces of inhibition.


Buzzle: Home & Lifestyle


Getting Mahjong with Pleasure

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If there’s anything I like, it’s playing board games.  One of my favorites is the classic and timeless game of mah-jong.  This game has been around for decades upon decades, spending all the way back to ancient China.  If you’d like to play it on your own, simply check out this online mahjong game that has created quite a bit of stir in the online gaming community.  They have created a game that is not only fun to play, but still adheres to most of the classic rules of mah-jong.

If you want to play a game with a little bit more spice and flavor, then you need to take a serious look at mahjong medley.  Not only is it one of the best sources of new mah-jong style play, but it has become an extremely popular game with young kids as well.  The reason for this is that it is fun, but it also teaches many critical reasoning skills and strategic thinking skills that you do not get anywhere else.  Think about it – schools do not teach the sort of critical reasoning and creative thinking that comes out of playing video games or board games.  This is why many of our most famous entrepreneurs were skilled poker, chess, or videogame players before they begin their companies.


Outsourcing Your Main Problems

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A love people who do work on the Internet have problems with making time for all the activities in the day.  Most entrepreneurs and people who work from home have to take care of almost everything in their business themselves.  This is not an effective are scalable way to grow a company or earn a good amount of money.  You need to tap into the power of virtual assistants.

Think of a virtual assistant as someone who helps you do the Monday and an rote tasks that you do not want to do in your day.  A great source for this is 247VirtualAssistant.com.  They source virtual assistance from all around the world that are capable enough to do many different tasks that you might not want to do yourself.  For example, you can have your assistance create new content for you, deliver e-mails, or research a topic that you’re going to need for the future.  Not only does the save you lots of time, it allows you to focus on things that matter most to you.  For example if you are a great programmer, you don’t want to be doing your books and working on too much log work.  Instead, outsource that and you will be much more professional in the long run/


Dealer SEO for Cars

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Dealer SEO is becoming ever more important these days as car dealers are getting online.  There are not a lot of dealerships that do not have a website these days, and even fewer that have no social media accounts.  For example,if you’re looking for a Facebook app for car dealers, then look no further than this company.  They put together resources for car dealerships that would make your head spin.  For example, this Facebook application syncs in with all of your other social media accounts and make sure that everything is under control in radio.

The Dealer SEO blog is one of the most interesting sources of car dealership information out there right now.  There are very few companies have decided to make it a priority to service car dealerships nationwide.  Without this amazing service, many dealers would have a hard time selling their cars and would simply not have as many sales or as good a way to track their business metrics as they now do.  If you think that you do not need their services and you are a car dealership, I must say that you are dead wrong.  There is no way to know how wrong you are.


Havoc Denies Beef With Prodigy

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Havoc has lashed out at his Mobb Deep cohort Prodigy on Twitter.

In a lengthy Twitter rant, Havoc calls Prodigy a “fake Jay-Z,” making claims that P engaged in homosexual affairs while in prison. He also poked fun at P, stating that “he think him and Rihanna getting married” and that he would be too afraid to confront Havoc if he saw him.

According to Devi Dev, MTV’s Sway Calloway texted Havoc to confirm the tweets and Hav responded that they were “Very Real.” It could be possible that Havoc’s phone was stolen, but several sources have confirmed Havoc sent the tweets.

Read the Twitter diatribe in full below.

@prodigymobbdeep we got a meeting, lets see if u built to show ur face. prodigy abitch and I’m gonna show it, follow!! ground breaking new. i got niggas in the jail system to to back up that prodigy was fucking homes in jail. prodigy prove me wrong! please. i have a big announcement…. and niggas that was locked wit him know the truth. now i will silence…. and let the jails take care of the rest. thats on everything, i had to smack P ask him. prodigy u pussy! u long island ass bitch. I’m about to expose u! i can’t wait till niggas in jail that was wit u back my shit up!! next time i see u , u getting layer out, on camera!! i can’t wait! how u say u live in jersey, but right there in queens??? I’m on top of u… pause… foot on thy neck!!! in a minute…. niggas that was in the jail wit him gonna blow him up first hand.!!!! prodigy a hider not a rider. nothing hacked P homo y’all. no hack this havoc. P IS HIDING!!! IM GONNA SHOW U P GETTING KNOCKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! WATCH HE TRY TO DODGE ME!! THINK ABOUT IT… HOW COULD HE SAY,,, QB MURDERERS ??? LETS DO A ONE ON ONE!!!!! ME AND P!!! HE SO BUTTTT HE WILL AVOID!!!! OH, ONE MORE THING, HE THINK HIM AND RIHANNA GETTING MARRIED!!!! LMFAOOOOOOOO. THIS50…. HOLLA AT ME XXL HOLLA AT ME P A FAKE JAY Z HOLLA BACK!!!!!


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